Monday, April 19, 2010

Summer Movie Preview... I have 3 points!

I still get Entertainment Weekly delivered from a random purchase at Best Buy like 3 years ago - i think they wickedly artificially inflate their subscription base just to juice $$$ from advertisers. Anyway, they came out with their Summer Movie double issue this week. I love the summer movie blitz and thought I would develop a small movie preview of my own.

3 Must See Movie
1 - Iron Man 2 (May 7) - loved the original, Tony Stark is one of the all time great heros (EW calls the movie a mix between Spider Man and Dark Knight... wow). Plus Laura and I saw Mickey Rourke (who has a ridiculous Russian accent in this movie) in NYC the other week and he looked craggled.
2 - The A-Team (June 11) - I love it when a plan comes together.... watching that van constantly blow over and flip over and the closing credits where the paper from the typewriter would fly into the air and land on the pile are two childhood A-Team memories that I treasure. This has a lot to live up to.... Liam "I Have a Particular Set of Skills" Neeson as Hannibal, Bradley Cooper as Face, Rampage Jackson as Mr. T, and that guy from District 9 that turned into the alien as Murdock. They better not mess this up. On the downside, they guy from Smokin' Aces is directing and that movie SUCKED. I am nervous.
3 - Inception (July 16) - I went back and forth on my 3rd must-see. I will give this the nod because of Christopher Nolan back in full Memento mode and with the talent of Leo and Joseph Gordon Levitt in the film. I am nervous that the plot involves stealing things from people's dreams and Ellen Page is involved, but I will press the I BELIEVE button.

3 Absolutely Not Movies
1 - Eat, Pray, Love (August 14) - hahahahah.... Julia Roberts in a movie that is described by EW as "a writer's yearlong global search for sustinence and serenity after a wrenching divorce." hahahahah... um, no.
2 - The Karate Kid (June 11) - wha??? NO! Didn't Hilary Swank teach you anything!?!? You cannot remake the Kid! Jackie Chan as Miagi? Jaden Smith as the incomprable Ralph Macchio? Billy Zabka as Billy Zabka? Actually, that last one isn't true, but still, NO!
3 - Marmaduke (June 4) - Owen Wilson.... really, dude? Apparently, the plot of this movie involves the title character (the dog) getting involved in a love triangle. Yup.

3 Movies That I Will DEFINITELY See on Netflix!
1 - The Expendables (August 13) - My #1 "if Laura owes me a favor, we are going to see this movie" movie. Described as earning a "hard R" rating - WTF does that mean!?!? - this movie involves Stallone, Willis, and the Governator. WOW!
2 - Jonah Hex (June 18) - Josh Brolin as some sort of dark comic book hero a la Sin City. Plus, Megan Fox is prominently involved and may be running at times. Supposed to be gritty and campy. Awesome.
3 - Robin Hood (May 14) - almost made it to the Must See list. Seems like Gladiator a few hundred years later. I love a good Russell Crowe action movie - he has been gone for waaay too long!

I also have very strong opinions on the Jake Gyllenhaal Prince of Persia but will write more about that another post.

1 comment:

jeffmtrost said...

Pizza -

Some thoughts on your movie tastes...


1. I'd rethink your Ironman 2 selection. I mean seriously, it's a comic book. But the guys over at CrunchGear seem to think it may not even be a Netflix rental -

2. I love the A-Team as much as the next guy, but don't act like you saw the typewriter with the paper during the ending credits of A-Team. You probably latched onto that during the ending credits of Stephen Cannell's other shows - like Murder, She Wrote:

3. I really agree with your pick for Conception - - I can't wait to see what David Arquette does with the hot teenage girl from Modern Family.... OH - you said IN-ception... my bad.


1. So you're telling me you don't want to see a movie that was based on a book written by an old lady, hermit of a writer who (i) never had a TV or record player while growing up; (ii) had an ugly divorce resulting in lawsuits and other slanderous claims; (iii) explored around the world searching for "everything", but only had the foresight to search in Italy, India and Indonesia; and (iv) came home from Indonesia, fresh off of a nasty divorce, with a boyfriend named Jose (Felipe), who she only married so he could make it through customs? Yeah, I don't want to see it either... I will hold off for the sure-to-be-saucy remake of the ex-husband's rebuttal - coming to a theater near you in 2013, I'm sure...

2. Agreed... no one should try to be Ralph Macchio... but everyone should follow Ralph Macchio -

3. Marmaduke - I actually agree on this. However, it does feature George Lopez. I think the only way to make this movie seem great would be to sit down for a weekend, right before you see Marmaduke, and subject yourself to every movie / show that George Lopez has ever been in... - I imagine it can't be any worse than some of those stinkers... or can it?


I don't care what you do with your Netflix subscription, but do it in the privacy of your own home.